They require constant confirmation of love and resign their mind that break-up is inevitable. Abandonment issues can often lead to low self-esteem that will manifest itself in negative ways. Your partner may demonstrate this by putting herself down constantly while you are around or telling you that she knows you really don’t love her and don’t want to be with her. Don’t validate these comments by saying you will always be there or coddling her. You need to get her to tell you how she really feels so you can work through her issues.

You’re not grieving the end of your last relationship, or healing the wounds that it may have caused. You’re one of those people who “have to” be in a relationship because you’re a mess when single. You don’t ask whether this person is someone you could spend the rest of your life with. Good therapy helps you deal with the changes that come with life’s transitions.

Teens and adults can have separation anxiety disorder too. When those needs aren’t met, you may feel unappreciated, unloved, and disconnected. You can feel very much alone, even when you’re in a relationship with someone who’s physically present.

You deserve a happy and healthy relationship after everything you’ve been through. And after healing, a happier and healthier relationship is what you’ll find. Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

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Some people disappear into themselves and avoid all kinds of relationships, others, on the contrary, manipulate loved ones, drawing their attention. People who are obsessed with the fear of being abandoned experience different emotions and believe in the false stereotypes created by themselves. With the help of a professional, you can heal from your past hurt and form healthier and more satisfying relationships, where you don’t fear abandonment.


You break up with a romantic partner so they can’t break up with you. A romantic partner may have left you suddenly or behaved in an untrustworthy manner. As a child, you may have experienced the death or desertion of a parent or caregiver.

Psychologist John Bowlby developed attachment theory, which suggests that the way we connect with our caregivers in early life shapes how we form attachments with people as adults. But if you persistently worry about others leaving you, even when there’s no evidence they will, you may be living with abandonment anxiety or fear of abandonment. They are well aware that they are the one with the issues and they know that it can cause a rift in their relationships. Keep being your amazing you and don’t give up when it gets tough. Those who fear loss are the most selfless lovers and will do anything and everything for you.

Those who are emotionally unavailable also tend to fear and avoid intimacy and are sensitive to the feeling of being “clung to” or controlled by their romantic partner. Fear of intimacy is characterized as the fear of sharing a close physical or emotional relationship with another person. People with a fear of intimacy may experience distress or anxiety at the thought of being intimate with another person. Intimacy can take many forms, including sexual intimacy, emotional intimacy, intellectual intimacy, experiential intimacy, and spiritual intimacy. I’m way more scared of abandonment then I let people know about. I think it might have something to do with feeling unworthy of friendship or love because of my parents or being groomed in the past.

It will, however, be the most beneficial thing for you in terms of maintaining future relationships. Sadly, sexual trauma has a great deal to do with intimacy issues. Sexual abuse brings an array of troubles with it, and it’s the most difficult thing to tackle.

How do you know if you have abandonment issues or feelings of abandonment?

Instead of feeling attacked or confronted, try to face the issue as a team. Everyone wants to be close to someone, but abandonment issues make it difficult to truly open up and be vulnerable with a partner. People with abandonment issues are in constant conflict between wanting to be with their partner and feeling scared to get too close. Our past experiences can have a profound impact on our current emotional and psychological state. If you’ve ever suffered from rejection or abandonment, you may notice that you feel anxious or fearful of finding yourself in the same situation again. Once you experience the pain of abandonment, it can become difficult to trust others.

A therapist can help individuals build self-esteem to feel more capable or lovable. They may also teach someone about establishing healthy boundaries and communicating effectively with partners. During therapy, a person can explore their experiences of abandonment and potentially identify the cause of their anxiety.

Most states reference a time period that must pass when a parent has no contact with the child and does not support them. The spouse leaves and does not intend to return nor provide any support for the family. These are just a few of the things that can instantly make a person feel like you’re about to leave them. Encourage open communication so that both of you can work through those triggers, and feelings, together.

Even if they don’t feel as though they are full of fear, they might still experience anxiety. It’s important to note that abandonment issues are actually a form of anxiety. Validation is an important part of trust in a relationship.